Chainsaw at Myspace

Note to self: Don’t get an album solely because it contains a cover of a band you like. This goes double if that band is Spinal Tap.

First of all, this is the Chainsaw from Holland, not any of the seven other bands listed on Metal-archives with that name. (There are also no less than 20 bands named Armageddon, and those are just the ones who managed to spell it correctly.) Chainsaw plays thrash metal that just doesn’t distinguish itself from the crowd. The playing isn’t offensive or anything, it’s just pedestrian (with a few exceptions, such as godawful drumming on a few tracks and a few guitar solos which sound like the notes were chosen at random).

The lyrics try to be amusing and even socially relevant at times, but they just sound like a middle schooler trying to sound edgy. For example, here’s a verse from “Hand of God,” a song about plastic surgery:

I’ll cut you up I like it tight
I’ll lift your breasts because they just don’t look right
Your legs are fat I’ll suck them slim
I’ll re-create you until you look divine

I understand that English isn’t these guys’ first language, but I can’t ignore lyrics like this when the vocals are this lame. The singer sounds little better than some guy they brought in off of the street. Sometimes, he sounds like he’s just trying too hard to sound silly (admittedly, this might be because a Dutch accent just sounds weird to me for a thrash metal vocalist). And what about that cover that caused me to pick this up? Well, Spinal Tap’s “Tonight I’m Gonna Rock You Tonight” sounds lame when played by Chainsaw, although at least they didn’t go the obvious route and cover the Ramones’ “Chain Saw.”

“Metal Missionary” isn’t offensively bad; it’s just not very good and only worth picking up if you’re a really die-hard thrash fan.

Kalisia at Myspace

Despite the fact that the French progressive death metal band Kalisia was founded in 1994, Cybion, released earlier this year, is their debut. With choral vocals and the heavy use of keyboards, I felt that this album is best looked at from the perspective of progressive metal than death metal. When I want to hear death metal, I want something sickening and I want something brutal; this doesn’t deliver on either count, despite the frequent use of harsh vocals. It’s just too melodic to be a really great example of death metal.

Cybion is considerably better as a progressive metal album, but it still has its flaws. It’s supposed to be some sort of sci-fi concept album, but I never really understood it (the fact that many of the vocals are growled didn’t help). It also seems more than a little derivative of Ayreon, what with the multiple singers, squelchy synthesizers and Arjen Anthony-Lucassen himself appearing on one track. It’s messy and overlong, but there are lots of interesting musical passages so it evens out fairly well in the end. I can’t recommend Cybion to death metal fanatics, but prog metal fans should like it. I think it’s decent for a first effort, but I’ll probably never listen to it again.

Dol Theeta at Myspace

Dol Theeta is Thanasis Lightbridge’s second project. His first, Dol Ammad, was unique among metal bands in that it employed a 14-member choir and relied heavily on electronics. Dol Theeta is different, as it lacks a choir and is quite a bit more laid-back than either of the Dol Ammad albums. And there’s the rub- to me, this seems more like a straight-up electronica album with a few metal influences than a metal album. While Dol Ammad straddled the line between “metal” and “not metal”, the choir and epic nature of their songs at least reflected metal aesthetics; the metallic content on “The Universe Expands” is limited to the occasional guitar solo. It’s not a bad electronica album by any means, and open-minded metal fans might enjoy it, but metal purists will want to pass this one up.

Heaps of Dead at Myspace

This is the debut release from Heaps of Dead, an Ontario-based quintet that plays brutal death metal. “Deceased, Dismembered, and Left to Decay” starts off fairly well; the first few tracks are fairly simplistic, but they’re effective despite their simplicity. They reminded me a bit of early Six Feet Under (I know they’re a controversial band, but I enjoyed their first few albums a lot.) The singer does a pretty good job with both high-pitched screaming and death growls. I got the impression that Heaps of Dead was a young band that needed improvement, but had lots of potential.

Unfortunately, starting on track four, a new vocal style rears its ugly head- horrible “BREEE!” pig-squealing. I don’t know what possessed them to incorporate this  awful style, but it just doesn’t work one bit, and should have been left out entirely. These vocals rarely take center stage, but they’re horrible enough that they ruin the tracks where they’re used, and completely ruin what could have been a decent album. Aside from that, I really liked the use of samples from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. If the singer quits the horrible pig-squealing/toad-croaking vocals, Heaps of Dead could be a band to watch in the future. If he keeps using them, though, not even wild horses could get me to listen to this band again.

Giant Squid at Myspace

Giant Squid’s second album is similar in style to the first, with layers of keyboards and cellos supplementing the more traditional metal instruments, although they’re just that, supplements, rarely taking over completely. The album just oozes with atmosphere, both in the metallic sections and quieter passages, and the unusual instrumentation is a big factor. Both male and female vocals are utilized, and I greatly preferred the latter; there’s something about the male singer’s voice I find a bit irritating. When he sings high, his voice has an annoying nasally quality to it, and when he tries to sound gravelly, the result is just cheesy. This doesn’t come close to ruining the album, however. Most of the songs have subtitles which are the scientific names of sea life; I’m not sure what that fact is supposed to mean.

My favorite track on the album was one which stuck out as being atypical- “Throwing a Donner Party at Sea” isn’t a stereotypically slow doom metal song, as it clips along at a nice pace. I also liked the song’s use of harsh backing vocals, which is fairly unusual for this band. Another standout track was “Mormon Island;” I enjoyed its near-ambient use of the piano. If there’s one thing I didn’t like about this album, it’s that it lacks an extra-long track like the title track on Metridium Fields; I loved that song and its extremely repetitive but undeniably hypnotic groove. All in all, though, it’s a worthy second effort, and it’s well worth checking out.