Lich King at Myspace

Amherst’s Lich King combine Bay Area thrash worship with goofy lyrics to create an album that’s mostly for die-hard thrash fans only. Although the band claims to be a quintet, I suspect that it’s a one or two-man project, as the band lists among its personnel Darth Vader on bass, Hulk Hogan on drums, and A Fucking Tyrannosaur on vocals. Say, could you imagine what would’ve happened if Mr. A. F. Tyrannosaur had wanted to play guitar? They would’ve had to have custom-ordered a huge one to accomodate him, and even then his playing would’ve been highly constricted due to him having only two fingers on each hand. But I digress.

Songs include “Black Metal Sucks” (which is just a regular thrash song until the last 30 seconds, which are a riotous parody of the title genre), the hilariously-titled “Attack of the Wrath of the War of the Death of the Strike of the Sword of the Blood of the Beast,” and “Office Politics” (which is complete with a sample of Milton from Office Space). Although the lyrics are humorous, the music never quite manages to transcend its Bay Area influence, and just feels like thrash worship. Of course, this is a comedy album, so the music isn’t quite as important as the lyrics, which begs the question of why the mediocre instrumental “I Destroy” was included. Another track, “Predator,” recounts the film of the same name; Arnocorps already did this about a million times better. All in all, Toxic Zombie Onslaught is competently executed but fairly dull, and only moderately amusing.

Thursday, January 29th, 2009 @ 12:57 am Thrash Metal
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